smallstone#24

After going back and forth with our karma and our dysfunctional functioning; she saw a photo on my desk of a red barn, "Oh, I like that", she said. Then - "You know what I really like, windmills." Me- "I L-O-V-E windmills too." She - "That is weird."
Why is it hard to believe that two people thrown together, having a hard time communicating are actually more alike than different? Now, this is something to be present with even if it only lasts a moment.

small stone #23

Sitting with this beautiful koan from Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel,..."what would happen if we habituated ourselves to staying open?" It isn't something I read and say, "Oh, what a lovely idea." No, I see it as my lifeline to freeing myself and experiencing true joy, not the teeter-totter of the emotions. I believe it wasn't until just now that I allowed myself that openness all day.

small stone #22

brilliant blueness
cool wind
smooth voice of jazz spreading healing balm over the heart
simple choice, simple joy

small stone #21

Sitting...with discomfort; as it turns out for a good part of the day.
Thinking...I have to be "doing" something on my weekend that has value as these 2 days are so precious and NOT work!
Crankiness, fear, anxiety, low blood sugar?
And now, dusk is here I've eaten and taken the body outside and realized how raw I was and needed to get back home! Grief comes in many disguises and asks quite a lot of one. And now, having given this feeling ample time I think, what a luxury to be able to let myself be okay with feeling cranky and uncomfortable and all those other descriptions that sound negative but are really no more usual or regular than joy or happiness or contentment. Now, I'm smiling at myself and writing it all down. I am a work in progress...

small stone #20

heart expansion,
fresh air rushing in,
vision demands a wider, clearer view.
miraculous moment of creation.

small stone #19

my stone is a flower,
big love,
gratitude,
loving arms,
soft lips.

Small stone #17

and this is how to get through this experience;
Today is my last day...and I immediately feel so
bouyant and it helps me get to 5 pm. From here on
out every day will be my last day. Is this another
way of saying stay in the present? Playing
tricks with my mind to stay sane.